This coming Sunday (28th) Bethel City Church is launching, due to its unprecedented growth, a new congregation in the heart of Trentham. This congregation is like no other; ‘Burbs Family congregation is specifically designed with family life in the suburbs in mind.
Why do I tell you this? Why would we, as a church, feel that this is so important to do?
Margaret Mead once said, “Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we’ve put it in an impossible situation. ”
It is my belief that holistic family life is an essential ingredient for the success and healthy development of a city.
If this is correct, we have to ask ourselves, “How much help do we give this thing called ‘family’?”
Family life is often described in two ways. The first is that it is similar to a harbour in which we find refuge from the storms of life. From the early experiences of falling over as a toddler to the devastation from the storms of life, the family is always there to give shelter and protection.
The second common description is that families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts. We can mostly testify that both descriptions carry weight!
My concern for our city is that we fail to invest properly into this essential ingredient called family and thus family becomes dysfunctional. Therefore the long term effect is that our children grow up believing this dysfunctional unit is normal and then gravitate towards people and situations that mimic the dysfunctional that they recognise.
This is not healthy for the people of Stoke on Trent.
Bethel City Church is committed to ‘Burbs Family congregation in the heart of Trentham because family is important.
Your family is important.
Here are some practical things that help Becky (my wife) and our 2 young boys (6 & 3) get by in the speed and hassle of 21st century living:
1. Downtime – try, at least once a week to have a few hours where you date your family. Date trips don’t have to cost the earth. Honestly your family find you of far more worth than money!
2. Laugh – life is tough. Really tough. In the season of economic hardships, stress, anxiety & pressure learning to laugh with each other really does relieve the strain.
3. Together – very often we decide on a project, not that it needs doing so much as, we need to do something together. I suppose the buzz word would be interaction. Pick a project from decorating to gardening and do it together. Don’t worry if the project ends in disaster, enjoy the time spent together. Who you are is more important than what you do!
4. Space – in saying the above, you count too. Parents, children & the individual need to learn to not be so demanding sometimes. Learn to give each other some space. Don’t use this as excuse but recognise that each person is different with differing needs.
5. Talk – it amazes me how many of us, in family life, shout at each other. Don’t! Listen, shouting isn’t always the best way to get your point over. Learn to communicate in a way that will not cause the roof to be blasted off. We are learning to speak to each other how we would like to be spoken to.
6. Surprise – do something that brings a smile to your family. Don’t expect them to always be there for you. You be there for them. Do that job. Clean that room. Make that cake. Do something that brings a smile!
7. Privilege – realise that you are. For each of us that has a family, many others don’t. To have a family is such a privilege. Don’t take it for granted. This is your family & no one else’s. You are privileged. Treat them special because you don’t get another!
I’m not an expert, just a bloke learning how best to get through this adventure called life.
Hope it helps.
Family, what an important subject these days. Especially when fewer people marry, more single parents and many children have very little contact or even none with their real father.
Well done.